My dad dropped me off at the front door to the university I was attending with these words from Mark Twain, “I’ve never let school interfere with my education.” In retrospect, that was probably not the best advice to give a recent high school grad who was more interested in having a good time than in pursuing academic excellence. The next few months had some tough lessons for me and I would love to help you avoid some of the mistakes I made. Here, then, are three common mistakes high school students make and how you can beat the curve and avoid these mistakes.
Studying isn’t important: I did well enough in high school that I didn’t need to spend much time in studying. The pages in the books I was given barely saw the light of day. I was, on the other hand a great note taker, and learned what I needed primarily from the teacher’s lectures, which was fine by me as it left me with my nights and weekends to pursue more social endeavors.
College proved to be very different. I had a history professor who was easily sidetracked and love to talk about torture methods through the ages, which of course, fascinated his students no end. However, none of the questions on his tests made any reference to these titillating class discussions, rather, they were taken exclusively from the book assignments. My habit of relying on my note taking skills proved costly.
What you can do differently: Don’t make the same mistake. Write study time into your schedule. Even if your classes don’t require much in the way of homework, you would be wise to begin establishing those habits now. Even if you don’t plan to go to college, perhaps especially if you don’t plan to go to college, you need to have some sort of system that allows you to continually improve your knowledge and skills. College or no, you need to plan on a lifetime of learning if you are going to be successful in whichever field you choose.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help: My observation was that my high school teachers were a lot more approachable than my college professors. Now, my wife is a college professor and she works very hard to make herself available to her students but she is the exception, not the rule. What’s more, it takes a bit of humility to ask for help from someone who doesn’t appear eager to help and I often found that pride kept me from seeking the help I needed, only to find that my classmates often had it so much easier because they were willing to seek the help they needed. Not only that, my false pride carried over into the workplace and I often found I had the same problems there as I continued to make mistakes just because I didn’t seek out the help I needed.
What you can do differently: Please allow me to let you in on a little secret; people generally have more respect for those who seek help, not less. It is not a character flaw to need help, it is to refuse to ask for it. Ask humbly and with the right attitude and you are likely to get far more than you expected. I have watched in wonder as people with far less skill than me have succeeded far beyond their limitations just because the sought out the right kind of help. Don’t be a moron. Put your pride in your back pocket and go ask. You may be amazed at what happens.
Choose your friends wisely: I know, high school is all about making friends; especially the right kind of friends. If you are like most people, the friends you make in high school will still be your friends many decades from now. However, it is also in high school that we begin to learn that our friends we choose have a profound effect on who we are as people. Not only do other people identify you by the friends you keep, but your friends can influence your thinking and priorities. This is extremely important to know as you move ahead in life. Whether at college or at a new job, choose your friends with great care. I saw way too many of my friends get sucked into destructive behaviors because of the friends they choose.
What you can do differently: As you move ahead in your life, and out of your high school’s sphere of influence, you are going to get lots of new chances to make new friends. Forget about being popular. Popularity is so fickle, you can be the most popular person in school one day and the most hated the next. How much better to have two or three great friends you admire and want to be like. Friends like that can really help you reach your highest potential. On the other hand if you choose friends who are negative and complain all the time, you will soon find yourself adopting the same negativity, and that can be a spiral that leads to dropping out of school, and indeed, out of life. I’ve seen it happen.
Some years ago, I met an amazing young lady that was doing some remarkable things. I knew that if I was going to draw her attention I would have to be the very best person I could be. Hard work became so much easier because I had someone I cared about that I wanted to impress. This worked so well for us both that I eventually asked her to marry me. Not that I have always been at my best, that’s too much pressure for anyone, but we now have a well established habits of excellence that propel us from one success to another. This summer the two of us will be going to Cambodia to teach on a Fulbright Scholarship. How cool is that? Pick the right friends and you could do even greater things in your future.
